What is domestic abuse?

The Government defines domestic abuse as  ‘Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.’

It is very common. In the vast majority of cases it is experienced by women and is perpetrated by men.

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Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:

  • Physical abuse

  • Sexual abuse

  • Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)

  • Psychological and/or emotional abuse

  • Financial abuse

  • Harassment

  • Stalking

  • Online or digital abuse 


Domestic abuse is a gendered crime which is deeply rooted in the societal inequality between women and men. Women are more likely than men to experience multiple incidents of abuse, different types of domestic abuse (intimate partner violence, sexual assault and stalking) and in particular sexual violence. Any woman can experience domestic abuse regardless of race, ethnic or religious group, sexuality, class, or disability, but some women who experience other forms of oppression and discrimination may face further barriers to disclosing abuse and finding help.

Domestic abuse exists as part of violence against women and girls; which also includes different forms of family violence such as forced marriage, female genital mutilation and so called “honour crimes” that are perpetrated primarily by family members, often with multiple perpetrators.

 


The impact of domestic abuse on children and young people

Domestic violence has a devastating impact on children and young people that can last into adulthood. Domestic abuse services offer specialist emotional and practical support for children and young people affected by domestic abuse.
 

 
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  • One in seven (14.2%) children and young people under the age of 18 will have lived with domestic violence at some point in their childhood.
  • On just one day in 2015, two thirds of women living in refuge had a child or children with them (66.95% of 1864 women) and 6.12% (of 1864 women) were pregnant (responses from 133 services).
  • A study of 139 overview reports from Serious Case Reviews (a SCR takes place after a child dies or is seriously injured and abuse or neglect is thought to have been involved) found that about two-thirds (63%) of cases featured domestic abuse
  • Domestic violence can co-exist with child abuse, through direct abuse of children in addition to their exposure to the abuse of their mothers. One study found that 34.4% of under-18s who had lived with domestic violence had also been abused or neglected by a parent or guardian. (From a sample representative of the population in the UK.)
     
  • Between January 2005 and August 2015 (inclusive) 19 children and two women were killed by perpetrators of domestic abuse in circumstances relating to child contact (formally or informally arranged).


Are the effects the same for every child?

Children can experience both short and long term cognitive, behavioural and emotional effects as a result of witnessing domestic abuse. Each child will respond differently to trauma and some may be resilient and not exhibit any negative effects.

Children’s responses to the trauma of witnessing domestic abuse may vary according to a multitude of factors including, but not limited to, age, race, sex and stage of development. It is equally important to remember that these responses may also be caused by something other than witnessing domestic abuse.

Children are individuals and may respond to witnessing abuse in different ways. These are some of the effects described in a briefing by the Royal College of Psychiatrists (2004):

  • They may become anxious or depressed
  • They may have difficulty sleeping
  • They have nightmares or flashbacks
  • They can be easily startled
  • They may complain of physical symptoms such as tummy aches

  • They may start to wet their bed
  • They may have temper tantrums
  • They may behave as though they are much younger than they are
  • They may have problems with school
  • They may become aggressive or they may internalise their distress and withdraw from other people
  • They may have a lowered sense of self-worth
  • Older children may begin to play truant or start to use alcohol or drugs
  • They may begin to self-harm by taking overdoses or cutting themselves
  • They may have an eating disorder

Children may also feel angry, guilty, insecure, alone, frightened, powerless or confused. They may have ambivalent feelings towards both the abuser and the non-abusing parent.



Do children grow up to be abusers and/or victims?

The “cycle of violence” otherwise known as the “intergenerational theory” is often referred to when considering the effects of domestic abuse on children; however research findings are inconsistent, and there is no automatic cause and effect relationship.

We believe that this theory is disempowering and ineffective when working with children. A boy who has witnessed domestic abuse does not have to grow up to be an abuser and a girl does not have to become a victim of domestic abuse later in life.

Educational programmes focusing on healthy relationships, and challenging gender inequality, sexual stereotyping, and domestic abuse, should be integrated with work on anti-bullying and conflict resolution as a mandatory part of the PHSE curriculum in all schools. These would act as important preventive measures.
 



Abuse through child contact

Unfortunately, even after separating from their abusers, many mothers find it extremely difficult to protect their children from ongoing abuse as a result of their requirement to comply with contact orders made by the family courts. Women’s Aid supports a child’s right to safe contact, but recognises that contact with an abusing parent may not always be in a child’s best interest.